Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
