hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize