honey bunches of taint.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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