pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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