You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
