just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
