i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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