thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
