And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
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You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
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You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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