hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
