Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
