Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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