How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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