I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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