Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
