Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
