and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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