what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
