i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This baby is an asshole
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize