If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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