So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
