Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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