make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
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Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
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Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.