Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.