I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
