$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I could make wine with my vomit
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
