The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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