I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
