Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
