Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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