make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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