so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
