I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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