if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Randomize
