Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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