Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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