I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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