p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize