C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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