did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
