I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
