I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
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So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
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I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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