Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
