Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
