How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
