Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
