she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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