i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
