i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
