You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
