this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
