We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
