the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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