im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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