The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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