i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
