You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
two words...techno handjob
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
