I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
