I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
