i always forget guys have bellybuttons
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
