you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
