he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
