He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
